The next one will be better

This is what I tell people whenever they are bemoaning the loss of a partner in a break up. I know that's a statement that sounds cliché but I figured that the next one will certainly be better because God does not short-change us. Also, over time, we know what makes us tick and what doesn't so we make a wiser decision on our future choice of a partner.

Of late, I realised that perhaps, the reason why the next one will be better may be because what  used to matter to us before may not matter as much as we mature. What used to bother us may not bother us as much anymore. All the paranoia, jealousy, the oversensitivity which had been the reason for quarrels can be overlooked now because we do not want to go through the negative consequences from the arguments again. We had made mistakes before and do not want to make the same mistakes now.

This is not about compromising our standards nor overlooking offences just because we do not want to be alone. This is us learning, over time, that some things really do not matter, and what's most important is that we love each other through the bearing of each other's faults to make each other better persons, helping each other grow to be more like Christ. We exist to make the lives of others easier to live.

I am thankful to God daily for sending the sweetheart because she's really a great person and I have learnt a lot from her through spending time with her. Our similarities are enough to accommodate our differences and I am thankful for that.
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can't keep up

I can't keep up with my daily diet and exercise log. Why? Because I eat too much to remember what I eat at the end of the day. So this is the end of my diet and exercise log. Oh. And I didn't exercise today. And I ate butterscotch popcorn. And chicken rice. And a large serving of yogurt from Yoguru. And these are only the unhealthy food from my food list today. And I didn't exercise.

bye.
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Updates

Monday

Black coffee

A cup of pistachios

Ham and cheese crackers 

A banana

Half a serving of smoothie

2 pieces ferrora rocher chocolate 

Half a rice dumpling 

Subway bLT

Snacks

1 cup of orange juice

Exercise: 1km swim

Tuesday

Black coffee

1 cup pistachios

Ham and cheese crackers

Nutrigrain with milk

Half a rice dumpling 

1 curry puff

2 pieces of cake

2 cups orange juice

Half a hot dog bun

Swedish meatballs and mashed potato

A few small bites of that butterscotch almond cake

Exercise: 1 hour badminton moderate level

Wednesday

Black coffee

1 cup pistachios 

Nutrigrain w milk

1 banana

Instant noodles w veg, 4 sotong balls and luncheon meat.

5 pieces of Oreo cookies

Half a pack of strawberry milk

Exercise: an omg intense 5 games of badminton which made my legs and butt really sore.

Thursday

Black coffee

Cereal Nutri Grain

Chicken glutinous rice

1 fried (I know!!) fish fillet

A few strands of fries

Seafood soup with rice

Starbucks green tea latte (finally!)

One slice of raisin bread

Whole body aching. Not sure what exercise to do today. Decided to burn a few calories and stretch out those sore muscles.

Exercise @ gym

30 mins leisurely biking

10 mins abs

20 mins stretch

Holy Spirit's prompting

I had learnt early in my Christian journey to check the promptings of the Holy Spirit with the consistency of God's character and God's word. Very wise advice given that some fundamentalists are killing people in the name of God. 

So how do I really know? Actually, I don't. I only pray that my conscience tells me if it's wrong. Many times, via feedback from the people I was prompted to reach out to, I know that I had heard the promptings accurately. And that encouraged me. And there are times I feel in tune with God's heart when the prompting comes. It has gotten better in the past year. I find myself moving subconsciously with the spirit and I don't get as baffled as I receive a prompting to do something. :) But there were times when I heard wrongly too. Every time that happens, it helps me to recognize God's voice more and more. It gets better with practice.

Generally speaking, the more filled we are with the spirit, the more in tune we are with God's heart and I reckon we can't go very wrong heeding a prompting from God. :) 

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Strength and inspiration

I draw strength via affirmations on what I can do or what I have done. Self -efficacy gives me the strength to move along. In a sense, while I appreciate prayers, and the occasional hug and cuddle from my partner, it is mostly strength from God that keeps me going. God also provides resources in the form of his people and finances so I can use these resources to lighten my load on other less urgent stuff and buy time so that I can free up more capacity to handle the more urgent and complicated matters.

 I get my inspiration from the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit may speak in between sermons, in between worship songs, in between books that I read and in between work moments. The Holy Spirit works in his own special ways, sometimes I find it even hard to explain how I draw inspiration from. The thought comes and sometimes, a more deliberate effort is needed to put the thought into action, but many times, it's the subconscious following of that voice and realizing after that it was clearly the prompting of the Holy Spirit that I did what I did.

I am always fascinated by the working of the Holy Spirit. How do I tell if the prompting is from the Holy Spirit? Coming up next! 

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Day 4-9

Day 4 - Wednesday

Black coffee
One bun
2 small bowls of porridge

1/4 mooncake
2 cups of fresh orange juice
1 cup of pistachios

One cookie
One banana
Porridge with minced meat and century egg

Exercise: Swam 1 km

Day 5 - Thursday

Black coffee
Smoothie

1 Cookie
1 cup of pistachios
half bowl of pasta
1 banana

Claypot chicken rice with dumpling soup (3 pieces of dumpling)
2 tablespoon of ice cream

Exercise: 1 hour badminton (moderate level)

Day 6 - Friday

Black coffee
Smoothie
Black noodle with 1 fried chicken wing

A cup of 3-in-1 coffee
5 boiled sotong balls
1/4 mooncake
5 fried sotong balls
porridge with minced meat and century egg

Exercise: 1 hour badminton (moderate level)

Day 7 - Saturday

Ate rubbish

No exercise. :(

Day 8 - Sunday

Black coffee
Smoothie
Wanton Noodles dry with extra wanton

porridge with minced meat and century egg
7 fried sotong balls
1 char siew bao

Exercise:
30 mins moderately vigorous badminton
20 mins gym (abs and legs)
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Stressed but blessed. Stressed to blessed.

Cell group was good. Two thoughts came during cell group. We were supposed to share about something that helps us in our worship of God. I knew that I was ready to share about how the worship of God has always been facilitated by christian music and I had brought my Marshall headphones along because it is one of the more important tools in helping create that me and God communion.

During cell, as I was thinking about what exactly to share, it suddenly dawned on me that I had no recollection on when worship of God worked that powerfully in my life. I tried hard to recall, and vaguely remembered that it was not at the start of my Christian journey though I was ministered by Christian songs even as a pre-believer. If I am not wrong, the working of the Holy Spirit through Christian music in helping me to pray, in leading me in prayer, in creating compassion and love for others, in bringing people to mind, in the birthing of certain initiatives, in the insights and perspectives gained, probably only became very clear when I started to worship in tongues. I can't be totally certain but I think so.

The other perspective was how relationships are more important than how I do for my studies. I had been aiming for at least an A- for all my courses which had led to a lot of pressure especially when I  work full time. In addition, my life had never been just about work. Every other activity has been a means to build some sort of relationship for the glory of God. And so, when this perspective came suddenly during cell group, that I realized that whether it is an A I get or a C I get, I will still get my masters degree, that took a load off me especially when I was and still am feeling stressed about the upcoming test on Monday. I was stressed but blessed after cell group, thanks be to God.

More about tongues in another entry. I am getting back to studying for Monday's test.
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Day 3: Tuesday

Black coffee

Toasted sardine sandwich

Cereal with milk

1/4 mooncake

Cup noodles Tom yum

Noodles with sotong balls and egg

2 big Otah with bread

Cookie

Fell sick with sore throat, body aches, headache and running nose. Doctor said it's the common flu. Bleah. Not sure if it's the training or the otah or the stress.

Exercise: 20 mins vigorous badminton

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Day 2: Monday

Diet

Black coffee
Mixed berries, banana, yogurt, milk smoothie
Cheese with crackers
1 cup of pistachios

Banana
1/4 mooncake with yolk
1 rice dumpling
1 cup of fresh orange juice

A handful of crackers ball
Subway BLT

edited* a tiny slice of mooncake, a handful of crackers ball and a tuna bread.

That's one disadvantage of exercising more. You feel hungry more!!

Exercise @ Gym

20 minutes cycling
25 minutes weights
10 mins abs.


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Training plan

With only three weeks left, training has to be more systematic and strategic. This is where I put my PE knowledge in action. Ha.

I need to work on three areas:

1) Strengthen my quads and hamstrings so these surrounding muscles can support the weak knees.

2) Increase my fitness and lose some weight in the process so my poor legs don't have to work so hard to support my heavy body. Being lighter also means moving faster.

3) Practise badminton skills on the court to prepare for the game. Lots of practice on my serves, smashes and net shots, both alone and with a companion.

Twice a week at the gym for fitness and strengthening.
Twice a week at the pool focusing on freestyle to improve arm strength
Thrice a week on the courts to practise playing badminton.

I got to restring the rackets too!!
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Day 1 : Sunday

Diet:

Black coffee

Rice with mushroom, chicken and prawns
Tom Yum soup
Half a 4-yolk mooncake

Minced pork century egg porridge
A cup of Pistachio nuts

oops, no fruits and veg.

Exercise:

20 minutes: treadmill jog at pace 6.
20 minutes: Stepper machine at resistance 6
20 minutes: Abdominal and Quads exercises
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Yesh!!

I am ready to hand in my research proposal as well as the comprehension passage that I was supposed to set. I feel very relieved now.

In the midst of my busyness this week, I decided to take part in the Les Fit All Star Games. Intention? Mostly to support the games. I signed up for badminton singles, badminton doubles as well as Captain's Ball. Maybe the sweetheart is right. Maybe I really like to pack my timetable. It is crazy because the competition is in 3 weeks and my knee is not game ready at this point in time. On top of that, I have a 15% quiz to prepare for the following Monday and I am playing for service 2 Sundays later. 2 major events for the next two weeks on top of regular work/classes/and all the other stuff. Woot!

Taking part in the competition means having to put aside a minimum of an hour a day to work out. It's exciting to plan towards a goal. I am looking forward to a healthier and fitter me in 3 weeks. :)
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Verse for this morning

The verse that stood out this morning was from Ecclesiastes 7:3

“Sorrow is better than laughter, for sadness has a refining influence on us.”

How true, isn’t it?

I am not saying that I believe in being sorrowful, that I would choose sorrow over laughter.  In fact, I believe in laughter and lots of it. But that’s just life.. Sorrow does come, in one way or another; whether it’s self-inflicted or caused by others or circumstances.

But it’s really true that sadness does have a refining influence on us, at least for me personally. I remember that I used to be very simple-minded and did not really think too deeply into and about things long ago. If I knew myself then, I would see myself as someone with no depth, someone who’s not perceptive, someone who’s somewhat hollow. That all changed when I suffered my first heartbreak; so painful I cried. I dwelled, I mourned, I allowed myself to feel the full extent of the pain. I remember how much it hurt, so much the pain travelled from the heart through the entire body till I could feel it at my fingertips. I didn’t cope that well with the pain then. By the grace of God, as I learnt to call out to Him and begged of Him to take the pain away, He did, not immediately, but that waiting period also allowed a time of growth and resilience. I am continually thankful to God. Experiencing pain also gives me a new level of empathy and compassion for those who are hurting and I am thankful to God for using me in this way as well.

A dear friend’s follow up comment on this verse that I also shared on facebook responded that sometimes, sorrow retains too much of an influence. My response to that? That’s why God didn’t intend for the verse to say sadness has a retaining influence on us. Sadness can be a refining influence.. do we let go and let God? Are we able to surrender that sorrow to God to allow him to do a good work in us? Do we want to surrender that sorrow to God?

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Amen!

"Signs and wonders are not the goal. They are the result. Well being is not the focus but rather the outcome. Prosperity is not the pursuit but rather the gift of a loving Father and the fruit of integrity. Glory must not be the longing in our hearts. It is instead God's response to a people who have become intimate with Him at the level of heart and character."

So beautifully put. They are not just words, but powerful truths packaged succinctly, one of the things I miss about the sermons in my ex-church. I hope to go back someday once it's time to do so.
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Holiday Schedule

Friday

Something special for the sweetheart

Saturday

Something special for the sweetheart
Mid-Autumn Festival programme at church

Sunday

Church
Movie
Assignmenting

Monday

Classes and meetings at work
Assignmenting

Tuesday

Sending bro off for enlistment into army!
Assignmenting
Cell Group

Wednesday

Badminton
Assignmenting

Thursday

Checking in to Rasa Sentosa with family :))
The Aquarium!
Bridging with friends @ Sentosa

Friday

With family at Sentosa
Late night visitation by S & C

Saturday

Bible study follow up

Sunday

Church

Tempted to travel but now that the family trip is smacked in the middle of the week, it pretty much dashed my hopes. Phew. :)
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Zumba!

This part of the year is always the time I feel the fittest as a PE teacher.  I am really thankful to my mum for volunteering her time to teach 2 simple songs to the 9 year olds who will be leading the ACES (All Children Exercise simultaneously) Day for the school.  For most of the other years, I had to choreograph the moves, teach the dance leaders, record the video, teach from the video and lead the dance leaders on the actual day. This year, I did less of everything because of the help rendered by my mum.

Actually, today was the only day where I had to lead a few classes simultaneously at the hall. The video was ready last Wednesday but I was out for camp on Thursday and Friday, and there was photo-taking at the hall yesterday and tomorrow. There was nothing different from the usual PE lessons today though, except that the lessons were back to back from 7.30 a.m. to 10 a.m. Thankfully, the 9 year olds were already well-trained to the degree that all I needed was to demonstrate/teach/refine their movements every 5 minutes.. Then viola! It will all be done by Thursday! I am needing a break soon though. Productivity is low and I can feel my body breaking down. I can’t wait for the week long holiday to start so I can rest and work on my assignment. Gambatte!

not the camping sort

The camp wasn’t as dreary as I had thought though the teachers at my level can be quite clique-ish. I didn’t feel quite engaged with most of them because they spoke in Mandarin and Hokkien quite frequently. The wavelength was not quite the same and it’s never easy to interact beyond the surface when you can’t be out to them. If they had asked, I might very well come out to them, but they didn’t, hehe. Prolly not time.

I enjoyed the camp because I had non-academic time with the kids. There were lots of time and opportunities to speak with them about non-classroom related matters. I really enjoyed encouraging, comforting and challenging them to go beyond their fears to do activities that they thought was beyond them. I had a few encouraging texts from parents thanking me for taking care of their kids, but one had told me how appreciative she and her husband were of me because of what I had done for their son. (managed to convince him to climb up the tower to do the zipline activity despite the fact that he had cried while climbing up an obstacle course a fifth the height of the zipline tower  –even my legs shook while climbing up the tower because you could see through to the ground all the way as you are climbing up the tower. Needless to say, he overcame his fear of heights after that activity.

I was glad to be back to civilization though. Back to comfortable non-stained mattresses and bedsheets and mozzies-free environment. And back to the sweetheart.
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