in one of the sermons preached some weeks ago, I remembered the preacher telling us that we need to be authentic and not be hypocrites, that we should not be who we are not, and that we should practise what we preach and not say things we don't do.
Maybe it's the technical definition of the word "hypocrite" that needs to be addressed in this instance. I would think that's nothing wrong in stating the ideals and be gradually changed to that ideal. For example, I can share my personal beliefs about how I would like to be, but that doesn't necessarily mean that people can see me practising that because I am human and much as I like to do the right things, I fail sometimes. But they are not able to see my sincerity in wanting to reach that ideal.
It's like setting a goal to be achieved; stating it and not demonstrating it (not yet) may not necessarily mean that one is a hypocrite, it just means that they are a work in progress, that they have plans to eventually work towards that direction.
The lesson I learnt from this post: Let God judge, because only God knows our hearts and our most intimate thoughts.
But maybe that message that the preacher was preaching was for people who do not practise what they preach and they are not interested in achieving that ideal. Or maybe that message would speak to those who are not even aware that they are not practising what they preach. Or maybe, it's a good reminder to people to practise what they preach.
Okay, I think I covered all grounds. :D
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Friday, 29 November 2013
temptations
TCT mentioned before about the need to stay away from a temptation so that she won't be tempted. I actually asked her if that would be escapism rather than overcoming the obstacles. It startled her a bit, I thought. That is why I am fascinated with her. I would have imagined that for someone her position as a psychology studies professor, that I wouldn't need to ask questions like that. But perhaps God has already given her the wisdom to understand our weakness as humans. Perhaps God is more interested in protecting us, knowing our weaknesses and all, than to put temptation in front of us and have us overcome it.
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thanksgiving
Happy (American) Thanksgiving! The Canadian Thanksgiving was in October but I was too swamped to think about having a celebration for the sweetheart. She had said that she misses home especially during Thanksgiving and Christmas. So... thanks to the help of some of our friends, we managed to pull off a surprise party for her! And she was pleasantly surprised. It was a good time of catching up, laughing, joking, just like thanksgiving at home, she said. Long dinners and chats over food and drinks. :)
We went round the table to share our thanksgiving too. Before I shared, someone reminded me that I only have 30 seconds (roll eyes). There are just too many things to give thanks for. In the area of work, my kids made an amazing improvement in their grades, that the school management decided I was capable enough to follow up with them through their PSLE next year. For the first time, I was given the responsibility to take care of the top graduating class. Thank God His hands are bigger than mine, and I know they will surely be well-taken care of next year. I thank God for cooperative parents, and how they make me feel that they can entrust their children with me.
In the area of my studies, I thank God for guiding me through the next phase in life, where I made the decision to take the more difficult route of doing my dissertation, which could possibly open up the way for a PhD, It is not so much chasing paper qualifications that mattered, not at all to be honest. I do love studying and would love to do it full-time. I was also excited at the hope of spending a few years in Australia, my second home, with the sweetheart. I also thank God that the only person I had asked to be my supervisor was free and willing to take me with no hesitation at all. She's very knowledgeable and I know I will surely learn lots from her in the next 6 months.
In the area of family, I thank God that Dad is becoming more positive and that he's willing to go out more, I thank God for the upcoming family trip on cruise Star Virgo. I thank God that the sweetheart is able to come along and that my parents like her (I think). I thank God that my parents are quite serious about getting to know God better. I thank God for that cell group that comes once a month so my dad gets a chance to fellowship. I thank God for my colleague and her husband who fetches my mum to church when they can. I thank God for a reliable and hardworking (though expensive) helper I can trust to take care of Dad and still manages to finish household chores. I thank God on how He drew my brother back to Him and how my brother was brought to cell group and subsequently back to church, where he has a group of friends he can hang out with, that I don't have to worry much about him anymore.
In the area of ministry, I thank God for how He has helped me grow through serving His people, whether I was playing for the worship team, or being on audio duty, doing welcome, follow up, or just being able to add value to people in my cell group and around me. I have learnt and have grown both spiritually and emotionally. I thank God for the new cell group Jars of Clay and finally sending someone I can learn from and model after through her leadership. I thank God, most importantly, for His presence in my life, that presence that speaks to me, that strengthens me, that I know I am not alone through it all.
I thank God for sending the sweetheart. It's not in the special things she does that makes me feel loved, but in the everyday things that ensures that I am well-taken care of and how she makes me feel special. She has this amazing ability to be efficient in managing household matters, creating some kind of stability in my life, yet be so spontaneously crazy and restless with the need to be outdoors every second she gets (which I have not quite gotten used to).
I thank God for His strength in helping me stay sane despite everything that has come my way this year. It has not been easy, but I am thankful that I am given some time to rest for the next 3 weeks before it starts all over again.
Lastly, I thank God my holiday officially started yesterday, that I do not have to wake up to alarm clocks for the next three weeks! Woot!
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We went round the table to share our thanksgiving too. Before I shared, someone reminded me that I only have 30 seconds (roll eyes). There are just too many things to give thanks for. In the area of work, my kids made an amazing improvement in their grades, that the school management decided I was capable enough to follow up with them through their PSLE next year. For the first time, I was given the responsibility to take care of the top graduating class. Thank God His hands are bigger than mine, and I know they will surely be well-taken care of next year. I thank God for cooperative parents, and how they make me feel that they can entrust their children with me.
In the area of my studies, I thank God for guiding me through the next phase in life, where I made the decision to take the more difficult route of doing my dissertation, which could possibly open up the way for a PhD, It is not so much chasing paper qualifications that mattered, not at all to be honest. I do love studying and would love to do it full-time. I was also excited at the hope of spending a few years in Australia, my second home, with the sweetheart. I also thank God that the only person I had asked to be my supervisor was free and willing to take me with no hesitation at all. She's very knowledgeable and I know I will surely learn lots from her in the next 6 months.
In the area of family, I thank God that Dad is becoming more positive and that he's willing to go out more, I thank God for the upcoming family trip on cruise Star Virgo. I thank God that the sweetheart is able to come along and that my parents like her (I think). I thank God that my parents are quite serious about getting to know God better. I thank God for that cell group that comes once a month so my dad gets a chance to fellowship. I thank God for my colleague and her husband who fetches my mum to church when they can. I thank God for a reliable and hardworking (though expensive) helper I can trust to take care of Dad and still manages to finish household chores. I thank God on how He drew my brother back to Him and how my brother was brought to cell group and subsequently back to church, where he has a group of friends he can hang out with, that I don't have to worry much about him anymore.
In the area of ministry, I thank God for how He has helped me grow through serving His people, whether I was playing for the worship team, or being on audio duty, doing welcome, follow up, or just being able to add value to people in my cell group and around me. I have learnt and have grown both spiritually and emotionally. I thank God for the new cell group Jars of Clay and finally sending someone I can learn from and model after through her leadership. I thank God, most importantly, for His presence in my life, that presence that speaks to me, that strengthens me, that I know I am not alone through it all.
I thank God for sending the sweetheart. It's not in the special things she does that makes me feel loved, but in the everyday things that ensures that I am well-taken care of and how she makes me feel special. She has this amazing ability to be efficient in managing household matters, creating some kind of stability in my life, yet be so spontaneously crazy and restless with the need to be outdoors every second she gets (which I have not quite gotten used to).
I thank God for His strength in helping me stay sane despite everything that has come my way this year. It has not been easy, but I am thankful that I am given some time to rest for the next 3 weeks before it starts all over again.
Lastly, I thank God my holiday officially started yesterday, that I do not have to wake up to alarm clocks for the next three weeks! Woot!
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Monday, 18 November 2013
getting lost in God
During the Sundown Festival 2013, the sweetheart was sharing about how she could imagine herself on stage, drawing all the energy from the music, the vibe and the crowd (the true ESFP she is). She recalled how during her clubbing days, she could just dance for hours and get lost in the music. I reckon that's kinda similar when I plug in my earphones and let myself immerse in worship music. That's just my time with God. And I get lost in those moments, when the Holy Spirit moves, fills, ministers, heals, and sometimes reveal. And like how the sweetheart says she draws energy from the music and the vibe, God empowers and strengthens during those times of communion with Him. It's not even the lyrics itself that ministers sometimes, God just speaks in between words and music. It's an amazing feeling to be lost that way.
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Sunday, 17 November 2013
Sunday morning meditation
" Throw your heart open to the Holy Spirit and invite Him to fill you. He will do it. Let no one interpret the Scriptures for you in such a way as to rule out the Father's gift of the Spirit. Every person is as full of the Spirit as they want to be. Make your heart a vacuum and the Spirit will rush in to fill it.
Be hard on yourself and easy on others. Carry your own cross but never lay one on the back of another.
Begin to practise the presence of God."
A.W. Tozer
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Be hard on yourself and easy on others. Carry your own cross but never lay one on the back of another.
Begin to practise the presence of God."
A.W. Tozer
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Friday, 15 November 2013
mum
so one day, we were all sitting around in the living room chilling when my mum told me that my cousins drive luxury cars. She had just come back from a holiday from Genting with my auntie and she must have told my mum about the cars her children drive. My mum said one of them drives a mini cooper, one of them drives a Mercedes and one of them a Lexus. Then she said something about them being lucky to be driving such cars. Then she said my auntie said that BMW is the best car to drive, that you would not change to another brand once you drive a BMW.
I felt a tinge of irritation because (my supersensitive nature), I felt as if she wanted me to drive a luxury car (a BMW?) so we can compare to my auntie's family. Of course I was quiet when I was processing these thoughts. I had wanted to retaliate by saying that if it were not for her foolish move to buy this current place for such a huge amount, I wouldn't need to pay 2 mortgages now, and if she could do what normal housewives do; chores and take care of my dad, I wouldn't have to pay $700 more per month for my domestic helper. And with that additional $1200 a month, I can probably drive a BMW. But I decided not to bother. In any case, I am able to buy a BMW now if I want to, but I just do not believe in paying that much for a car.
A few weeks later, I was at home and she asked me for a ride to the CC because it was raining. I told her that I was leaving at about 715p.m. She told me that her class was supposed to start at 7.15p.m and that she needed to leave the house by 6.45p.m. I wanted to ask her if my little Peugeot was okay for her to ride in. *sighs and rolls eyes*. Of course I didn't.
I am quite disappointed that she thinks our value comes from the brand of cars we drive especially when she's a christian now. Doesn't her follow-up sessions/sermons tell her to put her mind on things that are in heaven and not on earth? If she ever asks me to stop tithing and spend that amount of money on something other than god-related matters, I will tell her off, and I hope if that time comes, I would have enough self-control and patience to do that respectfully. This is one of the things about my mum that irritates me, when she talks about money-related matters.
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I felt a tinge of irritation because (my supersensitive nature), I felt as if she wanted me to drive a luxury car (a BMW?) so we can compare to my auntie's family. Of course I was quiet when I was processing these thoughts. I had wanted to retaliate by saying that if it were not for her foolish move to buy this current place for such a huge amount, I wouldn't need to pay 2 mortgages now, and if she could do what normal housewives do; chores and take care of my dad, I wouldn't have to pay $700 more per month for my domestic helper. And with that additional $1200 a month, I can probably drive a BMW. But I decided not to bother. In any case, I am able to buy a BMW now if I want to, but I just do not believe in paying that much for a car.
A few weeks later, I was at home and she asked me for a ride to the CC because it was raining. I told her that I was leaving at about 715p.m. She told me that her class was supposed to start at 7.15p.m and that she needed to leave the house by 6.45p.m. I wanted to ask her if my little Peugeot was okay for her to ride in. *sighs and rolls eyes*. Of course I didn't.
I am quite disappointed that she thinks our value comes from the brand of cars we drive especially when she's a christian now. Doesn't her follow-up sessions/sermons tell her to put her mind on things that are in heaven and not on earth? If she ever asks me to stop tithing and spend that amount of money on something other than god-related matters, I will tell her off, and I hope if that time comes, I would have enough self-control and patience to do that respectfully. This is one of the things about my mum that irritates me, when she talks about money-related matters.
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Wednesday, 13 November 2013
From self? Or from God?
"Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up" (1 Cor 8:1).
"Like the proud Pharisee, we will gather our intellectual robes about us and pray: God, I thank you that I am not like other people- robbers, evil doers, adulterers- or even the tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get." (Luke 18:9-14)
There is a very fine line to draw between humility and false humility.
To be able to say that I choose to be weak, I choose to choose God, I choose to be meek, I choose to think for others, comes from the perspective that we are strong enough, good enough, to make that change by ourselves, with God or not.
Granted, some people need to mentally talk themselves into being it before they can believe that they are it. Totally valid and acceptable but there needs to be a circumcision of our hearts before the word of God can be made flesh in our lives without us being proud that we are more superior than others even though we may not say so nor appear to be so. I think this is what it means to be changed from the inside out.
My prayer for myself is humility, that along with the learning that takes place through the word, through Christian materials, through sermons, that my heart will also be circumcised in that process, so that I can live out message behind the word of God and be a blessing to others, that others may know the love of my Heavenly Father and the power of the almighty God.
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Preparedness
I find that I tend to snack and eat more during the day when I don't have breakfast in the morning. Yet I don't feel like eating breakfast in the morning. The rare occasion is when the sweetheart prepares breakfast for me, or that I DECIDED to eat breakfast, or that I get so hungry that I go in search of some unhealthy craving that comes to mind.
I find that having breakfast when I am not hungry helps me choose to eat a healthy breakfast. When I have reached the point of being hungry, I succumb to my cravings because my hunger had caused me to lose control.
This brings to mind the value of preparedness. We need to be disciplined and infuse ourselves with the knowledge of God's love and grace for us so that we will be prepared to face any challenges that come our way. If not, when we encounter a difficult situation, we lose self-control and let that desperation control us and we grasp at any help we can find instead of relying on the god-given spirit in us.
Time to eat breakfast! Cereal and milk this morning! Wheee!
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