Solo retreat part 3: reflection from Soul Keeping

According to John Ortberg, the soul integrates the will, the mind and the body and when there's conflict between any of the components, the soul faces disharmony and disintegration.. Coming from that definition, I made sense of some of the questions I have been thinking of from time to time.

Many times, when we want to change certain habits or thought pattern, we are advised to control and stop ourselves using willpower, we try to change our bad habits by sticking to a new habit for 21 days. We try to distract ourselves from our pain by filling our lives with activities. We try to get rid of addictions by replacing those addictions with other addictions, not knowing that by doing all of that, we are only using temporary relief to fix the problem at the surface. The root of the problem still exists. Fixing the root of the problem is hence, allowing God to fill our soul with his spirit until the will, the mind (thoughts, feelings and desires) and the body (appetites, habits and behavior) is overwhelmed and overcome.

This explains the "healing" of smokers and drug addicts and the miraculous stop to their addictions . People normally say they are healed by God, what I think it is because God has given them wholeness to their souls that their will, mind and body can overcome their addictions.

Meditation, I feel, is a process that facilitates the healing of the soul. It allows a space for God to work. It helps one stay focused and disciplined eradicating distractions and gives a sense of peace and control to experience fully the permanent wholeness that only God can give to the soul to fix the root cause of all our disharmony, disconnection and sin.

Sin is not often talked about because of the unpleasantness of the topic. It is easier to talk about how God has cleansed us of our sins through Jesus Christ than to look at the sins of our own lives. It's more palatable to think that we will be transformed as long as we keep looking to Jesus, to be jesus conscious rather than sin conscious, to believe that right believing leads to right living. It's so much easier to believe in positive living.

I feel that sin-consciousness is a neutral stand. Sin-consciousness is only bad if it causes one to feel so much shame and hopelessness that people stay away from God thinking they are too bad to be saved. Sin-consciousness the right way helps us to be upfront and honest about our condition, and acknowledge that we need God's forgiveness, healing and wholeness.

For me, it's much easier to take the "let God consume my heart and soul so I will be a transformed person" rather than looking at the sinful me and acknowledging that I have a problem and that I need to admit that I have a problem , be upfront and honest about that which needs healing and wholeness. Without which, I can never truly move forward.
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Solo retreat part 2: Questions and answers

One of the those random thoughts I had on the coach ride up:

Does the spirit fill the heart? Or the soul? Is our heart a temporary housing? Just like our body is? Is the soul the only thing that is eternal? Does the soul house the heart? Or is the heart merely in the body?

I have a feeling my answers may be answered upon finishing the current book I am reading. Below are some amazing insights from the book titled Soul Keeping by John Ortberg:

"If your soul is healthy, no external circumstance can destroy your life. If your soul is unhealthy, no external circumstance can redeem your life."
- Dallas Willard

"The salvation of your soul is not just about where you go when you die. The word "salvation" means healing or deliverance at the deepest level of who we are in the care of God through the presence of Jesus"
- John Ortberg
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Solo retreat part 1: Coach ride and Meditation

You, who hold the whole world in your hand
We place our lives in Your hand
You, who, with a brush of your hand
Created Earth and all its creation
We place our hearts in Your hand
We call our souls to being
and stand before you, our God, our Father, our Mother
Fill our hearts with your spirit,
from the deepest recesses to the brim of our hearts
That love, joy, peace and faith will overwhelm our hearts and spring forth upon all creation
You are our dear Lord and King
We bow and praise and worship you
Amen
Selah

Meditation
Checked in at the hotel. And just finished 57 minutes of mindfulness meditation. 57 because after I started the timer (which was 5 Metres away from me since I was charging the phone, I spent over a minute getting into the right position etc and also spent the last minute checking to see if the timer was working. It seemed like an awful long time!

Well, it wasn't easy just focusing on my breathing. Many times, the breathing went to the background while many different thoughts came in. These were some of the thoughts:

-this feels like when I am led by the Holy Spirit to pray
- I am hungry
- I think I can sleep after meditation
- how to walk to jonker street
- my ex and yoga and our ex-gym and wondered if she ever checked that I enrolled to be a member again
- pie pie saying yesterday at least I am just wasting one hour of my life
- an absolut collector offering his place for me to crash at if I pass by Liege so we could trade vodka bottles
- how he looked a bit like my cousin
- meditation for mindfulness helps because the habit of bringing the focus back to breathing trains one to focus on the task at hand
- the meditation expert and her process
- wondering when the meditation expert first felt like giving up during her 10 day silent retreat
- wondering if it was okay to stretch my neck and my legs while maintaining my breathing
- that my nose was blocked and whether it was the same breathing through the mouth
-whether it was okay to change position from time to time
-whether I should go to the gym after meditation or get some food first
- thinking that I will snack a bit while updating my blog on my first hour long meditation experience
- thankful for free wifi
- that pie pie is having the time of her month
- the previous women's retreat
-catching up with one of my inner circle friends on Sunday
- sending pie pie off on Sunday morning before service
- thinking about the conversations I had with the people I spent time with yesterday
- thinking about the meaning behind some of the sharings


And a few more. But I am hungry so I am gonna walk to jonker street to have my first proper meal of the day. Ciao.
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why do bad things happen to good people

Moses and Aaron had a tough time making the Israelites happy because they were always complaining about the lack of resources in the wilderness. Moses and Aaron never failed to go to the Lord in desperation to ask for help. And the Lord always heard their prayers. Sometimes He gave them what they asked for. Sometimes He didn't. He could have given them endless grain, figs, grapes pomegranates and water. But He didn't. And so people had to ask. But when God provided, they remembered God.

So why do bad things happen to good people? Why do we always have to ask for things from God? Perhaps God knows human nature and how complacent and unappreciative humans are, and how prone we are in forgetting Him when life is all good. But because God created us and wants to have a relationship with us. He doesn't allow that to happen.

Why do people start going to church when they lost their job, when they lost their partner, when they are desperate and feel lost only to stop going when they found a job, found a partner or when they feel fulfilled. That's human nature.

And God knows too well.
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Can I live like that?

Wake at 7am, loll around in bed, shower, have coffee and brekkie and a 10 minute drive to start the day. I can live like that.

Only that the day ends at 5pm. Not so fantastic.

Tomorrow. Back to waking at 615am, showering and taking away the coffee to drink while driving and arriving to work by 7am. And the day still ends at 5pm because of two meetings.

Life is such.

This is the day that The Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.
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