Death

I never feared death. Except when I am on a plane. But the few times I was travelling with the love, I thought that it will be fine even if the plane had crashed then. At least I was holding the hand of the one I love.

Today, I drove Dad to visit his sister and brother-in-law who had been diagnosed with stage 3 liver cancer. It was there when I learnt that there's a tumor in his lungs and one on his bone as well. He had just gone through a session of chemotherapy and will be going through a few more sessions in the weeks to come.

As I was observing everyone's interactions, I sense a kind of quiet anxiety, in my aunt, my dad and my uncle. They have all come to a stage in life where they know that death lingers at the doorstep, and it's sad when you know you can't do or say anything that will help them feel better at that point in time. It felt like they are resigned to their fate even though they may hold a glimmer of hope within that a miracle could happen.

I felt then that the most depressing thing about death is not death itself, for death, especially for Christians, give a hope of eternal glory with God. The most depressing thing about death is the suffering before. The fear of the unknown, the wait, the treatment, the post-treatment recovery which debilitates... the resignation to a state where life seemed meaningless..

For me, I am not afraid of death because I know I strive to live life with a purpose. And come what may, I will leave this life with no regrets. I am unsure if everyone else feels the same, especially with people I know personally, and people like my parents who are close to my heart. And so going through today reminded me how important it was for people to live life with a purpose.
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The God who is above all

You are God above all creation
You are God above all created ones
You are God above all rules and decrees
You are God above all laws and regulations

"Age to age He stands
And time is in His hands
Beginning and the end 
Beginning and the end"

You are God beyond all our senses
You are God beyond all practices
You are God beyond our understanding
Beyond anything anyone can fathom

For you are God and God alone
Our extraordinary God
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be alert

this theme just came up as I was listening to worshipping music this morning.

just listening, not really worshipping.

and being alert is one of the best piece of advice that God has ever given to us.

Be alert and self-controlled! Alcohol doesn't help one do that.

Be alert and self-controlled! Alcohol doesn't inhibit the tongue from slipping.

I say, even when supposedly doing the things of God, be alert and self-controlled.

Worship music can be playing in the background, worship music can soften the heart and leave it vulnerable, for the devil to attack, if we are not alert. Be alert at all times!

Serving in ministry is a good thing and we can be in that zone where we can let God move. Or we can be moved by pride, ego, power... be alert..

Reading the bible is a good spiritual practice. And being ministered by God's words is a good thing. But be alert, that knowledge doesn't puff up. Be alert..

it takes a moment to slip.

lesson for today.
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I realised

When I find comfort and strength in God's presence that I often get reminded of my inadequacy and flaws and how the grace and love of Jesus just overwhelms me. There, I am humbled to reflect on my faults and seek forgiveness from God and then extend forgiveness, releasing the bitterness or anger within. Similarly, when I look outside of me to try to take the matter in my own hand and resolve it my way, I often find fault with the other and end up feeling more irritated and sometimes bitter. Such is the powerful presence of God.
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