Death

I never feared death. Except when I am on a plane. But the few times I was travelling with the love, I thought that it will be fine even if the plane had crashed then. At least I was holding the hand of the one I love.

Today, I drove Dad to visit his sister and brother-in-law who had been diagnosed with stage 3 liver cancer. It was there when I learnt that there's a tumor in his lungs and one on his bone as well. He had just gone through a session of chemotherapy and will be going through a few more sessions in the weeks to come.

As I was observing everyone's interactions, I sense a kind of quiet anxiety, in my aunt, my dad and my uncle. They have all come to a stage in life where they know that death lingers at the doorstep, and it's sad when you know you can't do or say anything that will help them feel better at that point in time. It felt like they are resigned to their fate even though they may hold a glimmer of hope within that a miracle could happen.

I felt then that the most depressing thing about death is not death itself, for death, especially for Christians, give a hope of eternal glory with God. The most depressing thing about death is the suffering before. The fear of the unknown, the wait, the treatment, the post-treatment recovery which debilitates... the resignation to a state where life seemed meaningless..

For me, I am not afraid of death because I know I strive to live life with a purpose. And come what may, I will leave this life with no regrets. I am unsure if everyone else feels the same, especially with people I know personally, and people like my parents who are close to my heart. And so going through today reminded me how important it was for people to live life with a purpose.
.