Labels and their roles, again

so my cell group gals and I were discussing about an interesting topic over whatsapp.

Case: there is a femme-looking girl who's alpha but doesn't like femme-looking lesbians. She likes masculine-looking lesbians who are soft inside, not so butch.

I think butch-femme relationships or PL relationships are prolly the easiest to adapt to. For butch-femme relationships, each has their own specific roles they understand they must play and they are happy playing. For PLs, they are woman enough to know what and how their partner wants to be treated because it is more likely how they like to be treated too. For the inbetweeners, andro-andro, andro-femme, butch-andro, the lines are blurred. They said love can conquer anything and everything. I believe yes, but after much understanding from all the communication. In its natural state, it takes more time for people in ambiguous roles to adapt to each other. Not that it's not possible, it is just more effortful.

A few of my femme friends who have complained about their andro partners mostly have issues about not feeling special enough. From observations of their andro partners, I understand the problem as this: Because their partners are not so butch, they tend not to be so initiative in providing or taking care of their femme counterparts. Not that they do not provide nor take care, just more passive in showing that they care. Sure, they rise up to the occasion, but being initiative; doing something out of the ordinary, going the extra mile, giving even when it hurts.. things like that make the femmes happy, simply because someone cares enough to go the extra mile for them.

I think, the softness that femmes like in andros is perhaps, not the passive nature. It can be the softness in their masculine looks to the softness of their vulnerability that they do not have to act tough all the time, to the softness in the gentle way they speak with their femmes. This softness has nothing to do with being passive and definitely has no role in affecting the other side of taking the initiative in giving and protecting.

There! I wish to think and write more but I gotto go to the hospital for now. Laterzz.
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