And so, because of an unpleasant encounter, I had the opportunity to come out to th 2nd last member of my ex- discipleship group, I came out to the other 4 about a year ago but did not come out to the last two because I didn't think they would be ready to receive the news.
This was how the conversation went:
A: Hi. I just called you. Want to check something with you.
Me: Hi A, Sorry it's not convenient to pick up the call. Is it okay to text?
A: You have a friend called L from HK?
M: Not really a friend. Have not met her. Just chatted a bit. Why? You know her?
A: No. She sent me Facebook friend request. I thought she's your friend because she's under our mutual friend list, so I thought okay to accept her request. You know her inclinations?
M (semi cursing under my breath): What inclinations?
A: She wants to be my boyfriend.
M (OMG!! How to respond???): That's hilarious! WHen did that happen?
A: Just today! You didn't know she's a les?
M (deciding whether I should lie or not): I don't really know her at all and rarely chat with her. She added me and I thought it was harmless to accept her chat... Well, she did mention before.
A: If she contacts you, pls don't tell her I talked to you about her. I thought you knew her well.
M: But I think it's very inappropriate to add other people's friend and then ask them to be their partner. Gosh.
A; Yeah same here. I accepted because she's your friend. And she's a girl too (haha). So I thought it's harmless. She chatted with me on facebook and the conversation leads to this. I told her I need to log off and work.
M: Just ignore her then. I will go set my privacy settings so only certain people can see what's on my facebook page. Sorry you got a shock.
A: It's okay. I just wanted to check with you. :) About her.
M: By the way, I am gay too. Just in case you do not know.. But I don't chat up people on fb and ask them to be my partner. (waiting anxiously for response)
A: I really don't know. So you like girls and not guys? But you dated what's that guy's name?
M: Yep. Not in the romantic way. I tried. Before that, I was in a 5 year relationship with a girl.
A: OIC. Thanks for sharing:)
M: Then we thought that it was wrong so we broke up.
A: THen now?
M: Meaning we thought that it was wrong to be gay.
A: Will you still date a girl?
M: A, after I broke up with D (my ex-bf), I realised that i really prefer to be with women and in time to come, I like to spend the rest of my life with the woman I love. But I was in a lot of conflict because most churchs, people and society have always thought that God condemns homosexuals. It was quite a painful journey working out this conflict wit hGod. I am currently at that place when I am assured of God's love for me regardless of my sexual orientatino. ANd I am also at peace being in a committed relationship with another woman and know that God doesn't condemn that.
I know it's hard for you to accept but believe when I say that God is still very much my priority in life.
A: Thank you for sharing. I have never had such deep talk with you before. I believe you love God very much and put him first.
M: Yep. It's difficult to share deeply with people when you can't be authentic with them. THat's why I changed church and cell group too.
A: There are some things we can't control. God doesn't condemn you. Does L know also? I guess she must have known why you switched church because I told her we met in covenant but you switched church already.
M: Yes, she does. SHe asked me before too. But I didn't feel that same way about her. She rarely emails me. I am terribly sorry that happened to you. It's really not right that she picks my friends fro mmy fb list and emails them.
A: God loves you
M (thinking whether she will follow up with that statement: but He doesn't condone same sex r/s):I know that.. thanks.
A: I told her I can't be her girlfriend the way she wants.
M: Pastor V even spoke to me because the ex cgl told her. She told me not to share my beliefs with others in church because I might stumble them.
A: My mouth is selaed.
M: THat is what I am selective to who I share with. SOrry I took so long to share with you. I didn't know how you would receive it.
A: My focus is on GOd. I know GOd is a God of love.
M: Yep.
A: No condemnation. I will still love you as a sister in Christ. Because God loves you.
M: Thanks. would you still feel th same if I were in a same gender relationship?
A: He's sovereign. Jesus said he will not lose one sheep that God the Father gives to him. He won't lose you.
Yes, because I trust my GOd. He won't let you go. obelong to Jesus Christ our saviour.
M: THanks A.
A: God bless and keep you. May the Lord lift up his face and shine upon you. :)
M: THanks dear. Your acceptance of me is comforting.
Then she started to ask me why I selected my ex-bf blah blah blah..
I am thankful for this opportunity to come out to another straight christian friend. Enough excitement for the weekend. Poof!
.
No comments:
Post a Comment