Patience

Coming out is a process. It involves overcoming a cognitive dissonance and internalized homophobia so deeply seated in us from all our life experiences.

After coming out and being told that we are wrong, that we are sinning and we are less than who we are because we are gay, it takes a long time to build up the lost self-esteem. I like to believe that with God, the process can be faster. It is at times when we are feeling the most rotten and lousiest that we truly ask God from the bottom of our heart: God, do you really love me as I am? Am I really a whole person who deserves to be loved even though I am gay, even though I thought you created me as I am? Cries of desperation usually prompt God’s response and facilitate that healing.

I know of people who sleep around and who are content with one night stands because it’s easier to perhaps confess their sins after one night of fun rather than live with the guilt in a lifelong relationship thinking they are doing wrong in the eyes of God. Being out and accepted, we don’t need to hide, we can authentically and daringly wait for God to send someone we want to share a life with rather than engage in frivolous affairs that won’t last or worse, settle for second best.

God only gives us the best. Do wait.

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